Gir's Evolution
by JenKristo
Summary: When Gir gets a human body, Zim, Dib and Gir's relationships are altered. Gir x Dib love.
1. To Live and Grow

Part 1 (To live and grow)

"Master?"

"I'm working Gir…"

"But-"

"I'm busy Gir! Do you not see the tools in my hands?! Did you not notice that I am in my LAB?! Did you forget the last explosion YOU caused?! I have equipment to fix!"

"But Master!" the little robot cried.

Zim sighed, "Yes Gir?"

"Why don't I grow?"

Pause

"Uhh… because you don't have a body."

Zim didn't even have to look at Gir to know he didn't understand.

"Live bodies grow. You are made of metal, so you will not… uh… grow."

"But Master," Gir cried, "I wanna get biiiig! You got big but not meeee!"

Zim watched as Gir's turquoise eyes burst into tears. A small feeling of guilt came over him as he realized how true Gir's statement was. Zim had grown to a mighty five feet, two inches in the past five years but Gir was still his miniscule little self. Zim realized that Gir could be very different now despite his appearance. Zim wondered if it made a difference that Gir was older now. It probably did.

"Gir?"

Gir sniffed, "Yes Master?"

"How about we take a trip to the tallest and get you updated, hmm?"

"No."

Zim rolled his eyes, "Why not?"

"Because I wanna be aliiiive! I wants to smell, and feel, and be this big!"

Zim watched as Gir stretched his arms as far apart as he could.

"Are you saying you want to be Irken?"

"Noooo! I wants to be a human!"

Zim's face grew grim with disgust.

"You want to be a filthy Earth beast? You can't! You wouldn't last a minute! Your STEEL frame can hardly manage the trauma you cause it!"

"I'll be carefuuuul!"

"No."

Gir looked solemnly at the floor.

"If I can't be a human, than I don't wanna be anything anymore."


	2. To Kiss and Lie

Part 2 (To kiss and lie)

Zim lied in bed for hours, unable to sleep. Gir's demand to be human was the last thing he expected. He shuddered at the thought that Gir had made a suicide threat.

'He couldn't. He wouldn't!' Zim thought. Deep in him he knew that was a lie. Gir had never been deprived of anything he seriously wanted, ever. If Gir wanted to be human, bad things could happen without supervision. Zim knew he didn't have much of a choice.

He got out of bed and went downstairs to the living room. He was surprised to see that Gir was not plastered to the scary monkey show, but was sitting on the couch with a book and a cow plush.

"You can read?" Zim asked.

"I can learn." Gir replied.

Zim admitted to himself that Gir had been acting smarter lately. He had even asked Zim how Dib acted when he broke up with him last week. Gir had known the whole time that Zim's relationship with Dib was a deception in order to acquire information. He also had acted particularly destructive during this fabricated relationship. Zim knew that somehow Gir understood humanity better than he did, but he could never figure out how or why. It was obvious from all the times that girls in expensive cars drove up to the base to take Gir to parties. It was no secret that Gir was 'adorable' to humans. It finally struck him that Gir might be keeping secrets.

"Gir, have you been holding back from me?"

Gir put the book down. "Wha do ya mean?"

"I mean your intelligence Gir! Have you been playing stupid with me?"

Gir looked down at his cow plush.

"Maybe…"

"Gir, I demand that you tell me what's going on!"

"I'm just getting smarter I guess. I know more than I used to. My people friends seem more complicater-ed than they used to. They have so many feelings! Sometimes I get it, but sometimes I don't! I-I… I just wanna understand! I wanna know why people kiss and lie and do everything they do!"

At this point Gir was standing on the couch jumping and waving his arms enthusiastically.

Zim gave Gir a serious look. "So I guess it's either somehow make you human, or…" Zim was afraid to finish.

"That's right master." Gir said.

Zim straightened up and clasped his hands behind his back.

"I suppose I could-"

"YAYYY!"

Gir swung his arms around Zim's neck and squealed.

"Arr! Gir, I have no idea how to do this even if I wanted to! I was going to say that I _supposed_ that I could TRY!"

"But you put me in the house once, right?"

Zim gasped, "I did, didn't I? The process of loading your data into the house was simple. Loading you into fleshy, earth-meat would indeed be simple as well! Why am I so amazing?! I'm… INGENIOUS! But… where will we find you a human form? Do you plan to _sacrifice_ one of your precious, earth-stinks in order to obtain a suitable body?"

"Nawww!" Gir laughed, "They gots TONS of extras!!!"


	3. Meats and Organzes

Part 3 (Meats and Organzes)

Gir and Zim stood at the entrance of a large, creepy room in the city hospital. There were two rows of operating tables, all occupied.

"What is the meaning of this Gir? You plan to steal a sleeping human?"

"Nooo! Those are dead… the meatses just aren't turned off.

"What?"

"Go look Master!"

Gir pointed at a sign on the door. It read 'Organ Donation.' Zim shuddered as he noticed that the bodies were connected to tubes and pumps keeping the lungs moving.

"These meats are are gunna have their organzes taken out by doctors. Isn't it sad Master? They're all so nice and purrty."

"It _is_ a shame," Zim answered, "that is if you like stink-beasts. I suppose it would be somewhat like saving one. Okay fine, go pick one out!"

Gir squealed as he dragged Zim to the first table. The table held a large older male with long black hair and a beard. Strangely it was still wearing glasses.

"Too ugly!" Zim spat.

The next held a tall, skinny man with dark red hair, and once again glasses.

"Too stinky!"

The third held something strangely resembling Zim.

"That one looks good!"

"Noooo!" Gir wailed.

Gir looked around the room with curious eyes. He silently (for once) walked over to the table in the back corner. Zim picked up the record paper next to the table.

"Age, fourteen. Sex, male. Name-"

"Gir is ma name!" Gir finished triumphantly.


	4. The New Kid

Part 4 (The New Kid)

As Dib approached the end of his street, he herd the all too familiar voice of Zim. Zim was the last person Dib wanted to talk to so he decided it would be best to stay where he was until Zim passed. 'Who is he talking to? Who would talk to that _alien_?' Dib thought. He had been more than just an alien to Dib in the past, but it had all been an illusion. Zim had turned out to be exactly what Dib thought he was when he first met him.

He _had_ noticed that for the last few days Zim had been acting differently. He was obviously up to something because he was constantly taking notes on stuff other than school work. He had even snuck into the senior anatomy class to steal a text book. Dib usually would have ran up to him immediately to find out what was happening, but the frost of the winter season was all that was keeping his broken heart from shattering. He feared the swiftly approaching thaw of spring because the beauty of it would probably make him want company even more. It didn't really matter anyway, because Zim hated every kind of nature. Winter was the best excuse for him to seclude himself from the world.

Dib slipped behind a tree to be less visible to Zim as he passed.

"Gir, stop being so jolly! You look like an idiot," Zim growled.

'Gir?' Dib thought, 'Why would he bring Gir to school?' It didn't really bother him since Gir was so harmless and happy. It made Dib smile to think that Gir would be in school to aggravate Zim. Dib was surprised to see not a robot, but a boy. He was thin, with floppy, blonde hair. He had porcelain-white skin that made him look desperately in need of some sun. He was definitely, in Dib's opinion, attractive.

Dib moved farther from the tree to get a better look at him. He was suddenly woken from the trance when the boy's big, turquoise eyes fell on him.

"Hey Dib!!!

"Um, I don't know you."

"It's me! It's me, Gir! Do ya like my body?"

"Wha-what? Your body?! Uh..."

"Master did it for me."

Dib looked across the street at the glaring alien.

"Hurry up Gir! You don't want to be late for skool." Zim shouted.

"Yes master!" Gir answered. "See you at skool Dib!"

Dib wasn't too surprised at what he saw in the cafeteria. Zim was sitting alone as usual, and Gir had been taken hostage by a horde of cheerleaders and other popular people. Dib couldn't find a reason why this wouldn't happen. After all, Gir was absolutely _adorable_. Gir looked over at Dib and grinned.

"Dibeee! Come sit with us."

Dib smiled back, "Not today Gir. I… have to go study."

With that, Dib walked from the table towards the exit. 'Why did I do that?' he thought. Perhaps it was his fear of Torque who happened to be sitting with the girls. He looked relatively friendly towards Gir, but all of his past actions gave Dib no reason to trust him.


	5. Heaven Upside down

Part 5 (Heaven Upside down)

The last bell finally rang and Dib went outside. As soon as the doors had closed behind him, they were banged open again. It was Gir, panting hard.

"Hurry Dib! Come hide with me!"

Dib didn't have time to reply before Gir grabbed his hand and dragged him into a bush beside the stairs. A few seconds later the horde of cheerleaders came rushing through the doors, giggling and hollering wildly. A few minutes after they had gone from site Gir pulled Dib from the bush.

"Wasn't that fun? I was playing hide and seek with the nice girls!"

"Yeah I'm sure they're very nice." Dib answered sarcastically.

"Most of them are nice when you give em a chance. If they're not nice to you, it's because you'd rather study than sit with me and a bunch of fun girls like them!"

Dib laughed. He hadn't even expected Gir to detect his sarcasm much less come up with a nice comeback.

"Ok, you win! Talk to you later?"

Gir tilted his chin to his chest and looked up at Dib with big puppy eyes.

"Wanna take me home?"

"What?!"

"Master missed homework and has to stay after skool. Walk me home pleasies?"

Dib sighed. It was undeniable that he was naturally a pervert.

"Sure."

Dib was surprised at how quiet the walk was. Gir seemed preoccupied with everything he saw. He stumbled more than a few times because he couldn't keep his eyes ahead of him.

"Maybe you should watch your step."

"My step? My step is boring! Look at the sky! Its so big and 3D!

Dib looked up at the dreary grey sky. The whole of it was thick clouds as far as the eye could see.

"It's winter. The sky is grey and ugly."

"Naww! The sky is beautiful! It's like a field of… fluff!

Gir's turquoise eyes widened.

"I bet…"

He threw himself onto the grass beside the sidewalk and gazed up at the clouds.

"I knew it! Wooow…looks like I could walk on it! It looks like heaven! I see Heaven!"

"I see mud! Gir, get up! Look at you. You're covered with mud!"

The grass Gir had laid on was wet and squishy. The mud had soaked into Gir's clothes, and his blonde hair was filthy.

"Eaugh. Looks like you'll need a shower when you get home."

Gir sulked and "watched his step" for the rest of the walk. They finally arrived at Zim's base and Dib left the sulking Gir at the doorstep. Half an hour after Dib got home, he herd the doorbell ring from downstairs. Gaz was expecting a new Game Slave edition to come in mail order, so he was sure she would open the door.

"Dib! Some filthy kid is here. Come retrieve him before you lose your spine."

Dib obeyed like a good spine-loving boy, and met Gir at the door.

"What's wrong? Why are you still muddy?"

"Because… master hates water."

"So?"

"So master hates showers! Do you think …"

Gir's cheeks turned slightly pink.

"You think I could borrow yours?"

"You mean use it?"

Gir shrugged.

"Yeah sure, you can use it."

Before Dib could say another word, Gir bolted up the stairs to the bathroom, leaving Dib to run after him.


	6. The Wettening

Part 6 (The Wettening)

"Here's a towel. Do you need anything else?"

"Nope!"

With that, Gir whipped off his shirt and began to unbutton his pants.

"Woh, what are you doing? Let me leave first."

Dib felt his cheeks get hot as he reached for the knob.

"You're leaving?! But…"

"But what?"

Gir nervously glanced at the shower. Dib put his hand to his forehead and sighed.

"You don't know how to take a shower?"

"Master used to use a lazer." Gir looked down at his hands. "I think a lazer might hurt now."

There was a long silence as Dib tried to decide what to do.

"Alright, I'll help you. Just let me get us some shorts."

Dib went to his room to get the shorts. As he sifted through a drawer, he herd the shower turn on. When he got back, he saw Gir's pants had been left on the floor along with his shirt.

"Wahoo!"

"Oh Gir! Are you at all dressed?"

"I gots me some boxers!"

Dib opened the curtain to see Gir flat on his back against the tiles.

"Looks like the water is too hot."

"Uh huh."

Dib adjusted the temperature and got in.

"Okay, let's get the mud out of your hair first. Use the shampoo."

Gir looked positively cute scrubbing his hair with no success at making suds. Dib had wanted to stay away to avoid the awkwardness of being in a shower with _him_, but it was obvious that he didn't know what he was doing. He poured some shampoo into his hand and scrubbed Gir's head. In a few seconds, Gir was covered with suds.

"There you go Gir."

Gir smiled, "Are we finished?"

"No, not yet. Lean back and rinse it out."

Gir closed his eyes and leaned his head back into the steamy water. Dib's guilt level sky rocketed as he let himself watch Gir happily rinse his hair. His mind insisted that Gir was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He quickly looked away when Gir opened his eyes. Dib wasn't sure, but he thought he herd Gir laugh. The last thing Dib needed at the moment was Gir's terribly ironic sense of timing, but fate is a perv so here goes.

"There's something I've been thinking about Dib. I see it on TV a lot and it looks cool. It reminds me of you."

Dib smirked. "So you're getting into paranormal eh?"

Gir shook his head and pushed Dib up against the shower wall. Gir's warm hand on Dib's chest was all that was needed to say 'I'm _so_ not thinking of the paranormal right now'. Gir gently kissed him then paused to wait for a reply. Dib felt his conscience screaming for him to get away from his ex-boyfriend's delicious slave, but he knew that would never happen. Gir's mesmerizing turquoise eyes had him glued in place. He wrapped his arms around Gir's waist and kissed him. Dib felt his little body squirm happily as he let his tongue explore inside of the boy's mouth. Gir finally pulled away and gasped for air. He leaned his head on Dib's chest and sighed, "I love being human!!"


	7. Spotty Disease

Part 7

"Where have you been Gir!"

"I walked home reeeally slowly."

"You would be moving at the speed of dripping ketchup in order to be getting home now! Do you know how slow ketchup drips Gir? Hmm? Very, VERY slowly! Now where were you? I demand ANSWERS!"

"Uh… we need a shower."

"What? Why?"

"Me."

"Oh. Uh… I suppose I can hire a plumbing slave. Now that you're FINALLY back, I need to take you to the lab for testing. I want to be sure everything is alright after your first day in skool. The memory transfusion has been successful from what I've witnessed these last two weeks, but these fleshy human forms are so unpredictable! How did you feel today? Hmm?"

"I was ok… kinda tired. My head hurts a little."

They continued to talk as they climbed into the trash-can elevator. Zim noticed that Gir wasn't trying to slam his fists on the elevator buttons as usual, but was just gazing off with a dazed, happy expression.

"What?"

"What, what master?"

"Why are you smiling so VERY much?"

Gir Grinned.

"Nothing!"

Zim rolled his eyes as the elevator doors opened. Gir lied down on an examination table and began to hum the doom song.

"Ok, take off your shirt."

"My-my shirt!"

"Yes your shirt Gir! How do you expect to be examined without taking off your shirt!"

Gir reluctantly pulled off his shirt to reveal what he had been hiding from the Invader.

"What on Irk are those… those spots! You have two spots on your neck! You really ARE sick! You're developing some kind of horrible SPOTTY disease!"

Gir sighed with relief. His master could identify half the species in the universe, but he couldn't identify human hickeys. Gir was indeed lucky.

Zim pulled a scanning device from beneath the examination table and set it to hover over Gir until scanning was complete. When the device finished, it floated over to the computer and attached itself by a wire. X-ray like images of Gir's bones, muscle, and organs appeared on a large screen.

"Eaugh, you're so complicated! Everything is so squishy and disgusting! It all looks like _something_, but there's so much of it!"

Zim turned to the computer mainframe.

"Computer!"

"What?"

"Check!"

"Check what?"

"Check the scans! They look normal, no?"

"How should I know?"

"CURSE YOU computer!"

"Okay! Uh… sure. They're normal."

Zim turned back to Gir.

"Gir, you are normal."

Gir got up from the table and rubbed his head.

"My head still hurts a little. Are you sure master?"

Zim scoffed. "If you insist that you are ill, I will arrange a medical earth-stink to examine you."

"No!" Gir cried, "Doctors are spooky."

"Fine then. Take some ass-prin, and go… away."

Gir gave Zim a hug and walked off to the elevator.

"Ganight master."

Zim sighed and turned to the computer.

"Computer, save Gir's files."

Commentary… Ok this chapter lacked good lusty fun, but too bad. The next chapter is gunna have stuff worse than the shower scene. Mmmm… I love it. .


	8. Cake, Tongue, and Zim's Gun

Part 9 (Cake, Tongue, and Zim's Gun)

Warning: This might be rated R but I'm not positive it is. If you don't think you should risk it, don't.

Three weeks later

Dib opened the door to let Gir in.

"Look what I made for Gazzy!"

Dib looked down at the oddly shaped, purple frosted cake.

"It's her birthday today, right Dib?"

"Yeah. It's sweet that you made it. Just be careful when you give it to her. You know my sister."

Gir strolled into the kitchen to give Gaz the cake.

"Happy birthday Gazzy!"

Gaz looked up from her gameslave and for once looked slightly less than homicidal.

"You made me a cake?"

"Uh huh! I made the frosting purple with grape soda! You like purple right?"

Gaz winced. The idea of a purple grape cake was a bit creepy, but the outcome looked positively gothic. Gir was something of a disturbance over the past weeks, but his sweet desire to please her kept her rage at bay. Gir was just too cute to destroy. Plus Gir was doing a wonderful job of keeping Dib out of Gaz's hair.

Gaz thought about how much things were changing since Gir had become human. Zim was still a workaholic except he now worked for money instead of power. Dib was becoming a love-sick puppy, and she was somehow being brainwashed into becoming more forgiving. Gir's disturbingly loving nature was rubbing off on the world.

"Gir, did you say something to the cheerleaders about me?"

"Oh yeah. I told them you were really good at video games."

"Well one of them called me. She wanted to _hang_. It was creepy."

"Oh, that was Kym! Wanna know a secret about her? She's a closit goth! She loves videogames too!"

"No way. Cheerleaders are all stupid whores."

Gir set the cake on the table and walked to the door. He turned and said a final word.

"Don't judge people before you know them Gazzy. You might miss out."

Gir left to go find Dib in the living room. He sat down on the couch frowned. Dib had a sad, distant look in his eyes.

"What's wrong Dib?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking about Zim."

"I know master did mean things to you. He hurts me too sometimes, but we can't really say it's _all_ his fault. He's an Irken Invader! He grew up thinking it was his job to destroy everything. He never had any family or love. Master is better than he used to be though. He smiles a lot more these days. Wanna know a secret?"

"What?"

"Master doesn't want to destroy the world anymore."

"Are you serious? He said that?"

"Well no, but I can tell. He almost never goes down to the lab anymore except when he's giving me a check-up. He has a job too."

"Zim is working? Don't tell me he got a job as a fry cook."

"Oh no. He sells Irken technology designs to the government. He's so proud of making monies."

Gir paused a moment then looked back at Dib.

"Master was a lot worse back then when you were with him. It might have been different if it was now. He might be different."

"Maybe he would be, but I don't love him. I love you."

Gir leaned on Dib and twirled his black pointy hair with his finger.

"You can love us both."

"What!"

"Well there are a lot of kinds of love. You love your Dad and Gaz, we love eachother, I love Zim-"

"But you love him like family right?"

"I don't know. He isn't my family and he doesn't seem like a dad or a brother or anything in a family, but he is something. Something to love."

"I don't completely understand you Gir."

"Me either. I got myself another headache. Maybe I'll tell you when I'm smarter some day."

Dib laughed and kissed him. "Ok, when you're smarter."

Gir smiled mischievously.

"It's getting late Dib. You know what that means."

Dib knew the game they played and wasted no time in joining.

"It means you need to go to bed."

Gir arched his back and covered his face. "But I don't wanna go to sleep!"

"Who said you we're going to sleep?"

Dib scooped Gir up and walked towards the stairs. Gir leaned back to look at Gaz as they passed the kitchen.

"You don't mind warning us if your dad comes home, do you Gazzy?"

Gaz shuddered. "Ugh… sure."

Dib could barely shut the door before Gir sidled up to him. He raised his arms above his head as Dib pulled off his shirt. Gir backed over to the bed and lied down on it, with Dib above him. Gir pulled off Dib's leather trench coat and slid his hands down his shirt until they rested on his belt.

"The belt has to go Dib. It isn't wanted."

Gir pulled off the belt and threw it behind the headboard. His eyes suddenly widened.

"I bet we could have a lot of fun with a belt! Now I need it."

Gir turned over onto his stomach and reached down for the belt. Dib rested on an elbow and watched Gir struggle. His thin form twisted so every bone in his back was visible. He abruptly stopped at Dib's touch. Dib slid his hand across the porcelain skin, over his shoulder blades, and down the arch of his back. Dib climbed back onto Gir once more. He moved his fingers through his blonde hair, and slowly ran his tongue up his neck. Gir made a small gasp and tightened his fists on the bed sheets.

They both jumped at the sound of someone at the door.

"Dib-stink! Get away from my slave immediately!"

Zim pulled a weapon resembling a rocket launcher from his pack and pointed it it Dib. Gir pulled him out of the way of a projectile ball of acid which splattered on the headboard, burning it into nothing.

"Oh shit Zim! That was dangerous!"

Zim threw the weapon aside and sprung at Dib's throat.

"I'm gonna kill you, you FILTHY-"

"Stop it master! Please!"

Zim roughly shoved Dib away.

"This is madness! MADNESS!"

He stomped out into the hall and called for Gir to follow. Dib grabbed Gir by the shoulder as he went to the door.

"Aren't you going to stand up to him?"

Gir smirked. "Zim is my master. He did a lot for me, even gave me this pretty body. The least I can do is let him punish me."


	9. Behind Irken Eyes

Author Note: Once again you find a chapter that enforces the fact that in all of my writing, everyone is potentially homosexual. I beg you get over my oddness. .

Part 10

Gir walked out to the front of Dib's house to see Zim sitting in a parked car. But it wasn't just a car. It was a gorgeous black Chimaera.

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"Who master, nice ca-"

"Get in the car NOW Gir!"

Gir sighed and got in. "I'm sorry I made you mad master."

"I'm not mad, just amazed… in a not so good way. I didn't expect you to keep secrets from me after you became human. I just expected us to be more open." Zim laughed, "I never expected anything raised by me to come out as brilliant and… celestial as you did."

"Oh master! You really do care about me!"

Gir reached for a hug but was shoved away.

"No need for mushy human emotions! You're still my slave."

Gir rolled his eyes as Zim started the car and turned towards base.

"So where is the pretty car from? Have you _really_ made that much already?"

"Maybe I have, but I didn't have to use it for this."

Zim puffed out his chest with pride as he slid a gloved hand over the dashboard.

"These pathetic science humans are rightly grateful for my amazing technological assistance. It was a sign of their gratefultude."

"That's _gratitude_ Master."

Gir prepared himself for the wrath of his master's ego, but none came.

"You're right Gir. I must have correct vocabulary if… um… yeah."

"If what? What!"

"Nothing, forget it."

Gir started a long screeching noise between a whine and a cry that made Zim wince.

"Alright! Damn… I'm planning to stay on Earth. Are you happy Gir? Hmm!"

"Oh yes! That's awesome! I didn't think you loved Earth _that_ much."

Zim started the engine and turned towards the base.

"Ha! Me love Earth? It's mildly entertaining, but not worthy of my love. I'm staying mostly because you wouldn't be safe here alone."

"Yes I would!"

"No, you wouldn't!"

"Yes I-"

"No!"

YES!"

NO!"

"Why not!"

"Because you're not even safe on Irk anymore, much less an inferior planet like Earth!"

Zim put his hand to his mouth.

"Irk? What… Why?"

"Be- Because… the tallest are bad. That's all. It's a story you don't have to hear. There's no point in telling it."

Gir looked at him with hurt eyes. Zim was being unfair and he knew it himself.

"Look… During my last message to the tallest you passed by the screen and they saw you."

"They aren't supposed to see me?"

"I _thought_ it was fine until I noticed the way they looked at you, especially Red. He requested me to send you to them for observation. He told me any alterations to Irken technology had to be inspected and approved. I knew it was bullshit so I denied his request. They were both so infuriated with my disobedience that they banished me… again."

"Banished you, because of me! What was wrong with them? What would they want me for?"

Zim shook his head and pulled up to the base. He opened the car door and tried to get out but Gir grabbed his wrist.

"Answer me _Zim_. What would the Tallest want me for?"

Zim slammed the door shut so hard it made Gir jump.

"You wanna know why? Sex Gir! They do it all the time. Being the leader of the most powerful empire in existence is a good ticket to get anything you want. You're an exceptionally beautiful creature Gir, inside and out. I won't let you be another victim of their sick lust."

Gir began to sob as Zim left the car.


	10. Into the Woods

Part 11 Into the Woods

Zim sat down in his usual seat in the cafeteria. He looked over at Gir and Dib sitting with some other people. Dib had become more popular thanks to Gir forcing him to introduce himself. Not sickeningly popular, but he no longer was alone. Dib and Gir were, in Zim's eyes, the most despicable couple in school. It wasn't anything in particular that made Zim despise them together, it was simply the unbearable humiliation of one's enemy dating one's own slave.

He put on his evilest face as he watched Dib stand up and approach him.

"Zim, I want you to come with Gir and I to a party tonight in the north wood clearing."

"Gir made you say that."

"Yes he did."

"Well I'm not going to some stupid human gathering in the middle of a bunch of disgusting trees!"

"Come on Zim. Gir really wants you to come. I know it'll give him another headache if he has to come over here and nag you. Save him the headache and just go."

"I suppose it's necessary for me to accompany you two. It would be irresponsible to leave Gir alone with you _human_.

"Ugh. You're such a jerk Zim. You need to just relax for once!"

Before Zim could reply with an oh-so-clever remark, Dib had returned to his seat.

Zim, Dib and Gir arrived at the clearing around 8:45. Zim parked his Chimaera on the side of the road where a line of sports cars indicated a party was near. There was a single, dark trail through the woods but beyond the trees was the light of a fire. Zim groaned as he stepped on an empty beer can littering the trail.

"Why couldn't people have their parties somewhere closer and less… woodsy? There's a perfectly good parking lot down the road."

"We're not supposed to go to parties like this master. It has to be a secret."

"Why?"

Dib laughed, "Because we're under aged. Maybe you aren't in Irken years, but you go to a high school. That's enough to make this illegal.

They stepped into a large clearing with a roaring bonfire in the center. Some people were dancing to a boom box and others were laughing and drinking. Gir walked over to a cooler and pulled out a beer.

"Here Master."

Before Zim could answer, Gir dragged Dib over to the group of people dancing. Zim examined the can of liquid. He hadn't planned to try it but there was nothing else to do. He sipped it and was surprised to find his throat not burning.

"This isn't bad at all! I suppose the alcohol counteracts the effects of the detestable water!"

Zim finished the can in two more swigs and headed for the cooler.

After a while, Dib and Gir stepped to the side of the clearing. Gir looked towards the bonfire and frowned.

"What's master doing?"

Dib looked over to see Zim stumbling around with his back to the fire. He was laughing insanely and had removed his wig and contacts… and shirt. He twirled his antenna and leaned back.

"Oh shit!" Dib screamed as he ran towards Zim. By the time he got through the crowd, it was too late. People screamed as they saw Zim lying in the flames. Dib grabbed his ankle and dragged him out of the fire. He was black with ash and his pants were now reduced to toasted shorts.

"Zim are you ok? Aw man somebody call an ambulance!"

Zim coughed and sat up. "No, no don't call the am-bull-ance! COUGH! COUGH! HAhahaha! I am ZIM; lord of the… fiery-stuff!"

He stood up and wobbled back over to the fire. He removed what was left of his boots and stepped onto some burning cinders.

"See Dib-pig? It doesn't hurt! I am AMAZING!"

"Uh no… you're just a fireproof alien."

"And that is AMAZING! No?"

"Eeeh just get out! What happened to you being under cover?"

"Bah. Drunken earth teens remember nothing! NOTHING!"

"Well-"

"Shhh"

Zim turned his head towards the path and frowned.

"Did you hear that Earth-Stink?"

Dib quieted and immediately herd a scream. The two of them rushed towards the path followed by a crowd of others who had herd the scream. They arrived at the road to see a whimpering Gir pinned on his back by Torque. Torque had pushed him up against the hood of a car and was in the process of unzipping his pants.

"Get offa me Torque!" Gir yelled as he kneed Torque in the stomach.

"Shut up!"

Torque backslapped Gir knocking him unconscious. Zim rushed over and tore Torque away from Gir. He threw him as hard as he could at a tree.

"I'll kill you, you piece of earth shit!"

Torque turned to see Zim, half naked and completely alien.

"WTF Zim! You're an alien!"

"Fing right I am! And I'm gunna beat the sh-"

Zim was interrupted by the sound of a police siren. The crowd ran in all directions to escape being arrested. By the time it had stopped all were gone except Zim, Torque, Dib, and the still unconscious Gir. An officer ran up to Zim and yanked him off the shuddering Torque.

"I'm taking you two in. I can smell the alcohol on you from three feet away!"

The officer then looked over at Gir who was lying on the ground with Dib at his side.

"Did boose knock him out?"

Dib looked up at the officer horrified. "No officer! Neither of us drank anything. He got knocked out. He needs to be taken to a hospital. I can't get him to wake up!"

uthor's note: Chapter 12… Here comes the drama. Brace yourselves… or something.


	11. The True Wrong

Part 12 _Wrong_

Dib paced back and forth in front of the door to Gir's hospital room. It felt like an eternity since the doctor had gone in. He finally came out, shutting the door behind him. He looked at Dib with a confused face.

"You said he had trauma to the head?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure that's all that happened?"

"Yes."

"Where are his parents?"

"He has none. He lives with his… brother Zim. Zim just got arrested for underage drinking."

The doctor brought Dib to a telephone and called the prison to speak to Zim. Dib strained to hear their conversation.

"I'm speaking to Zim, right? I'm Doctor Gill. Your brother Gir's present condition is very unusual. I've been told that Gir suffered head trauma but our brain wave tests indicate that something else is _wrong_. Does Gir have any other health conditions?"

The conversation finally ended with the doctor handing Dib the phone.

"Zim?"

"Listen Dib. I have photographic scans of Gir's body in my lab. They're far more detailed than any of the doctor's scanning technology. I want you to retrieve them for the Gill doctor."

"Wait! You knew there was something _wrong_ with Gir earlier!"

"Of course not."

"But you had scans-"

"I may have had scans but I can't read them! I can't identify half the organs in the human body much less point out defects!"

Dib took a taxi both ways and made a round trip in half the legal time. He ran to the doctor and shoved the plastic sheets into his hands. Dr. Gill put them on a light board and observed them.

"Dear lord!"

"What? What's _wrong_?"

"No… the scans are just so advanced!"

"That's nice but do you see anything _wrong_?"

Dr. Gill took down the skeletal scans.

"I'm taking down what's healthy."

He continued with the skin, muscles, veins and arteries, and was finally left with the organ scans. He rested a finger on a spot on Gir's brain.

"Dear lord!"

"The lord doesn't care about scans! Stop looking at the scans and look at the scans! Is there anything-"

"_Wrong_? Yes I'm afraid. Whatever petty accident lead to this boy being here is nothing to what's really going on."

Zim anxiously paced inside his cell. He had come to the conclusion that alcohol was neither helpful nor long lasting. His nervousness over Gir's situation made him wish that the effects lasted on Irkens as long as they did on humans. He longed for an escape from the anxiety of waiting for answers. There were so many questions in his mind that he thought he might try to escape again. After the first few tries the policemen locked his PAK shut with a chain and a car 'club' to keep his spider-legs at bay. There was nothing left for him to do but wait.

He slammed his fists against the bars as an officer approached with a phone.

"Hello? Dib? What did the Gill doctor say? What's _wrong_ with Gir?"

There was a long silence before Dib spoke.

"There's a tumor… in Gir's brain. The doctor says there's no way to remove all of it. It's over."

Zim herd Dib crying on the line.

"Don't cry Dib-stink. It's not over."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's not over! I put Gir in that body, and I can take him out again. We'll put him back in his robot form until another body is selected."

"Do you think we could really do that?"

"Why not? It's not like its _wrong_ or anything, right Dib?"


	12. Gabriel Ian Ross

Part 13 Gabriel Ian Ross

Gir lied on the grass in the spot that he had been in only a season ago. The winter had lived out its existence and was now replaced with spring. He closed his eyes to block out the blue, endless sky. He pictured the winter's blanket of grey fluff that he had hoped to someday walk on. It unnerved him that he would be walking on it so sooner than expected.

He herd the sound of frantic footsteps and opened his eyes to see Dib.

"Gir, please stop running away like this. You need to cooperate. I know you hate the chemo but you need it."

Gir sighed and ran his fingers through his thinning hair. He rested a hand on the spot that was completely hairless, scarred from surgery. All this chemo was pointless, just like the failed attempt at removing the cancer in his brain. Dr. Gill seemed to be around constantly, taking over what was left of his life.

"Gir please get up. We need to go to the hospital. Zim is there with Dr. Gill. Everyone is waiting for you."

Gir smiled and stood up. He kissed his tired lover on the cheek and walked with him down the road. "Remind me again why I have to do this."

"You're doing it because you want to keep your body. If you don't make an effort to preserve this one, Zim is going to force you to get another. He would have already if you hadn't insisted on doing this instead."

"He'll never get me in another one."

"C'mon Gir, we've been through this. You know chemo isn't going to last forever. Eventually we will have to find you another body. It will be easier this time because you won't have to steal it. You know the government is-"

"Paying for everything and offering full support. I know the drill Dibby. I am telling you that I'm not getting another one, no questions."

Gir could see the frustration in Dib's face and it pained him not to give in. He was making Dib angry.

"This is ridiculous Gir! What do you plan to do?"

Gir turned away leaving Dib horrified at the silence that answered his question. Before he could speak they were interrupted by the ring of a phone. Dib pulled a cell from his pocket and opened it.

"Hello?"

"Dib? It's Zim. Is Gir nearby?"

"Yeah. Do you wanna talk to him?"

"No. Make him go away."

Dib rolled his eyes and stepped away from Gir. He walked a few paces onto the lawn in front of the hospital. Gir was used to the awkward and pointless way that was Zim's mind.

"Ok Zim, what?"

"I told Dr. Gill about Gir. You know… where he came from. What he is."

"What! Why? We're supposed to keep that with the govt. scientists, right? Why did you tell the doc?"

"Listen to me Dib-stink! He got hold of the parents!"

Dib couldn't believe Zim had actually done what he was saying he did. None the less, it was necessary to ask what was already known.

"Whose parents?"

"The parents of the boy whose body is now Gir's!"

"Jeez Zim. What the hell do you do that for?"

"I don't know… but they're here now so hurry up!"

"They're in the hospital with you!"

"YESSS!"

Dib shut the cell phone and turned around to find himself face to face with Gir.

"They're here?"

Dib sighed, "You shouldn't have herd that. Yes they're here. They want to meet you."

Gir, Zim and Dib sat opposite of Dr. Gill and the parents. Gir looked nervously over at the man and woman, and they looked nervously back. It was Zim who broke the silence.

"So Mr. and Mrs. whatta… Rick? Ross?"

The man shifted nervously in his seat.

"Yes its Ross. Bill and Jeanine Ross."

"So Mr. Ross, what do… what do you want exactly?"

The woman spoke abruptly. "What do you think! You stole our son's body and put some robotic… _thing_ in it without telling anyone and all this time we thought he was stolen as some cruel joke!"

Gir looked at the woman with a stunned expression.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone would care since the body was… I didn't think… I didn't think at all! I'm so sorry… I can't believe I was this stupid."

Gir leaned forward and covered his face. The man known as Mr. Ross left his chair and put a hand on Gir's shoulder. Gir looked up at the Ross man as he smiled nervously.

"We aren't mad anymore. My wife Jeanine and I were upset from our son's disappearance, but now that we know what has happened, we believe it is some kind of miracle. We aren't sure exactly what to think at all. Do… do you know about our son?"

"No sir."

The room was silent with anticipation as Mr. Ross pulled his chair closer to Gir to begin his story.

"We had our boy, Gabriel, fourteen years ago. He was barely three when we were in the car accident. Jeanine's arm was broken but Gabe suffered the worst. He went into a coma that he never woke from. He has stayed in the hospital until recently when he stopped breathing on his own. Our doctor said that at that point there was no chance of his recovery, so we decided to let him go. Only two days later did we get a call that his body had been stolen from the hospital."

Gir shook his head. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be. None of it was your fault. I'm glad that our son's body is with someone so kind as you seem to be. Now that's an unusual name… Gir. How do you spell it?"

"G-i-r."

Jeanine frowned, "G-i-r... That's very peculiar… Bill did you notice that before?"

"No, I didn't Jeanine."

Zim and Dib said in unison, "What!"

Bill Ross looked curiously at Gir. "Gabriel Ian Ross… his initials were G-I-R. Gir!"

Gir sat stunned once again.

"I'm very confused."

Dr. Gill stood and sighed. "I think this is enough for Gir for one day, don't you Zim?"

Zim looked at the parents. "Indeed."


	13. Never a Mortal’s Decision

Auth-Note: Sorry about the lack of updating! Here's part 14… kind of short since I cut the second half off for part 15. They just didn't fit together.

Part 14 Never a Mortal's Decision

Dib lied in bed with Gir wrapped in his arms. Clothing was strewn on the floor and Gir rolled over to find a sock beneath him.

"I'm a sloppy guest."

"Well my room is a mess so I'm a sloppy host."

Gir turned to look Dib in the eye. "You're a sloppy kisser too."

"Too aggressive am I?"

"Never."

The phone rang from the other room but they both ignored it. It seemed to be simply because they couldn't care less, but Dib felt an inner feeling of foreboding. If Gir was serious about the unthinkable, than Dib wanted to do nothing but hold him until the time came.

The silence was ended with pounding on the door. Gaz opened the door and immediately turned away.

"Oh come on!" Gaz growled, "I can't deal with this crap anymore! I already know too much about your sex life Dib... All that's protecting my scarred eyes now is your _sheets_! I'm leaving the cordless by the door."

Gaz dropped the phone and slammed the door shut. Dib climbed out of bed and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Dib-Stink! Where is Gir?"

Dib grinned. "He's in _bed_. Can I give him a message?"

Gir snorted with laughter.

"This is serious! I command you to listen!"

"Everything is always serious to you Zim."

"Everything _is _serious!"

"No it's not."

"Yes it- arrgh! Whatever… Look. However light you are taking this situation, I am not. I have been preparing Gir's robotic form for a re-plant. You must listen to me! Unless you want him to die, you need to make him cooperate."

I do not want him to-"

Dib looked over at the innocent Gir lying comfortably in his bed.

"I'll talk to him, ok Zim?"

"Fine."

Dib hung up the phone and sat on the bed beside Gir.

"What does master want?"

Dib sighed. "We have to talk Gir. Zim is preparing your robot form for a re-plant. You have to consider-"

"Consider what? Moving back into a tin can?"

"It wouldn't be for long."

"That doesn't matter. This is _my _body, and I'm staying with it no matter how long… or short my life will be."

"Why! There are other bodies out there that are fine! Why would you die if you don't have to?"

"Because it's not our place to decide!"

Dib stayed silent, completely shocked.

"It isn't my decision. Any other human in my condition would do what I'm doing."

Gir leaned to the side until his head rested in Dib's lap.

"I'm living out my life and making the best if it. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of missing what's left. I don't want to worry for the rest of my life. I wanna be happy with you and Zim. That's all I want."


	14. What does the ‘G’ stand for?

Auth-note: This has been the hardest chapter of all of them for me to write. Please don't hate me if you don't like it. Don't tell me if you hate it either… I might shrivel away into nothing.

Part 15 What does the 'G' stand for?"

Zim worked madly in his lab. He felt sleep poking and prodding him but he refused to give in. Gir's body had to be prepared soon. He felt a horrible sense of somethingtelling him there wasn't much time left. He looked up at the computer screen for the thirtieth time and decided to do one more design check. He started the D-check and sat in his chair to watch it load. His eyes were heavy and his mind was whirling. The loading bar grew fuzzy until sleep finally took hold.

Zim opened his eyes to find himself standing in the Tallest's ship. He couldn't move, and was somehow invisible. It became clear to him that he was dreaming as he watched himself walk up to the tallest to receive his SIR unit…

'A robotic slave of my own' Zim thought. He couldn't believe how little the past Zim knew. Gir was so much more than that.

Zim watched the little robot dance about in front of the old him. Zim frowned to see a person he didn't remember. A small child with no gender stood watching the scene. "What does the 'G' stand for?" the old Zim asked. Instead of Gir answering, 'I don't know' like he originally did, the child stepped in. The scene froze, all except the child. It turned to the dreaming Zim and spoke.

"The 'G' stands for Gir and Gabriel. Gabriel Ian Ross." The child announced.

Zim growled. "It's Gir, _not_ Gabriel! Gir! _My _Gir! Not some other human!"

The child smiled and walked over to the frozen robot.

"It is not the 'G' that matters. It's not the names at all. The being you know as Gir _is _Gabriel I. Ross. The same soul moved in, out, and back into the same body."

"What are you talking about! Gir is a robot! R-o-b-o-t! He has no _soul_!"

Zim was shocked at the words that left his mouth. The child raised a brow and watched Zim ponder.

"…I'm wrong, aren't I? I must be."

"Indeed."

"But it's impossible! Gir is an A.I."

"An A.I. has artificial intelligence, but intelligence only. True hate, happiness and love cannot be programmed. Some can create a synthetic loving creature, an object that can deceive us beyond comprehension, but no mortal can bring about the creation of a living soul. Gir is an A.I., but is also a true life. Do you doubt that?"

"…No."

"Gabriel's soul left its body, was reborn in Gir, and now has been returned."

"Returned to Gir's human body?"

"Yes."

"Wow… Hey… I don't care! Gir's oh so special body is dying! I will not let Gir die!"

"Who says Gir will die soon?"

"My scans say so! I will remove him from that… poisoned body!"

"It's not your decision Zim."

"Why you little-"

Zim stopped as he watched a pair of white, feathery wings emerge from the child's back. Zim remained frozen where he stood as the winged child kissed him on the cheek and left the room.

Zim growled. "Come back here you winged freak! What do you think you are? I don't care what you are! I'm gunna beat the-"

Zim jumped forward, falling out of the office chair in his lab. The computer returned from sleep-mode.

"Uh… you ok?"

"Zim is fine! FINE! Filthy computer… filthy winged freaks in my dreams… filthy, filthy EVERYTHING!"

Zim grumbled as the telephone rang upstairs. He trudged over to the elevator and went upstairs. He looked out the window to see dark, rumbling clouds forming in the sky. The phone rang again.

"What?"

"It's Dib! Gir is shaking like mad… It's worse than ever! You need to come quick! He… he wants you here."

Zim gasped. "Don't move him! I'm bringing the robot!"

"No you're not Zim! Please just come. Please!"

"Ok… I'm coming."

Zim hung up the phone and ran for the lab to retrieve the robot.


	15. The End

Ok… this was originally a Lemon chapter, but someone commented very nicely about it but said they didn't like lemons, so I decided to change it. I was feeling a bit odd about it in the first place anyway. So if it seems a bit odd in the end part of it it's probably because I removed a lot, and I'm too lazy to write something to replace it. Anyways, enjoy!

Part 16

Gir held his pounding head as Dib hung up the phone.

"It's ok Gir, Zim's coming. Please don't… don't lose it! We can get through this. It's not over yet!"

Gir tried to answer but the pounding suddenly grew worse. He felt a jolt of pain shoot down from his head. It shot again and again like the beating of a heart. He knew Dib was there but the pain was blocking him out. It grew to the point of blinding him senseless, blocking out sights, sounds, and even Dib's grip on his shoulders. All he could hear was the muffled thumps of the blood in his veins. He felt himself fall, to the floor perhaps, but he couldn't be sure.

It cleared for a moment, barely enough to speak.

"Dib! I-I think this is it… Oh God, it can't be over... Dibby it hurts so much, I can't think."

Dib watched horrified as Gir shook on the floor. He was enduring unthinkable pain. 'This is crazy' Dib thought. He picked Gir up and left the house. He wouldn't just sit here and watch his baby die. Maybe Zim would pick them up on the way to the hospital.

Dib looked up at the sky as it began to rumble. A trickle of rain swiftly became a downpour, leaving Dib and Gir soaked. Dib looked down at Gir, who was continuing to shake. Gir's chance of recovery seemed horribly low.

They reached a tree-less part of the road where Gir stopped shaking and looked up.

"Dib, are we where I think we are?"

"I think were at the spot where you lied in the mud that first day we met."

"Yes. This is where I saw heaven upside down. Put me down on the ground Dib. Hurry. My head is starting to hurt again."

Dib paused a moment and looked at Gir. He laid limp in his arms with his head resting on Dib's shoulder. His body seemed like it had no life left in it but his eyes were almost the same as the day Dib had first looked into them. They were seas of emotion now with just a little more sadness than usual. Sadness, mixed with strength and will. It seemed that Gir knew that his time had come, a thought Dib had been blocking out since the first day in the hospital. He put Gir down on the paved walkway, trusting in his unconventional logic. Gir looked at Dib and saw the confusion in his eyes.

"Dib, you are the most amazing person on this planet. I love you with my whole heart. I don't want to go in that hospital room. Stay with me here. It won't be long."

Tears swelled in Dib's eyes and poured down his cheeks.

"It's too soon..."

He was suddenly cut off by the roaring of a car. Zim's chimera pulled up next to them with a screech and a splash from the wet tires. Zim jumped out of the car and quickly retreated back in as the rain sizzled his skin. The door slammed shut with a bolt of lightning. He lowered the window and yelled.

"Dib, this is ridiculous! Just help me move him into the robot! Why are you being so… STUPID?"

"Why are you being so _selfish_ Zim? Can't you see that's not what Gir wants!"

Zim's yells of protest became mixed with choking sobs and he finally jumped out of the car at the couple, with the robot in his hand. The limp robot bounced off the ground and landed smack on top of Gir, and Dib was knocked away by Zim. Zim and Dib began to fight, Zim scrambling to get to Gir to do the memory transfer.

Gir ignored them both, looking into the flashing sky. He moved the face of the robot out of the way as he looked above. He noticed lightning flickering in the clouds. It seemed to notice him, picking him out over all other objects. Gir watched the lightning curl back, then shoot down at him like a striking snake. It raced towards him but didn't strike. His eyes grew wide in shock as the robotic body shielded the blow. The lightening dug into it, penetrating the outer metal. Threads of electricity flew out of the robot and attacked Gir, making him arch his back in pain.

Dib and the sizzling Zim beneath him gasped at what they saw. Dib tried to crawl to Gir but Zim held him back.

"Don't touch it Dib! You'll be killed."

Gir opened his eyes and sat up. He was surrounded by silent whiteness, and felt nothing but stillness and an odd warm/cool sensation of the perfect temperature. He saw nothing but a small, white-winged child standing before him.

"I knew it would be now." Gir said to the child. "They wouldn't listen, but I knew."

The child smiled. "Sorry, but you didn't know anything."

Gir frowned and looked around. "Is this heaven? It sure is nice."

"No, it isn't heaven." The child answered. "You'd have to be dead to be in heaven."

"What! I-I'm not dead?"

"Gir, you were always the one to admit that it wasn't up to you to decide when your death would be, yet you always assumed it would be soon. You always assumed the worst. Where has your trust gone?"

"But… I... I thought… isn't it soon?

"Like you said, it isn't your decision."

Before Gir could even consider what the angel was saying, he was flung back into reality. He opened his eyes to find himself on a surgery table in Zim's lab. He gasped and sat up, startled by all the feelings after having none in that… white place. He looked down and was relieved to see his fleshy, pale self. Zim and Dib jumped from their seats and rushed to Dib's side.

"Oh my God, Gir you should have seen it!" Dib cried.

"Seen what?"

"Seen you!" Zim answered.

"What happened? I saw a winged kid and it told me it wasn't time for me to die."

Zim growled. "So that winged _freak_ got to you too? Well it was right about that. The whole thing was unbelievable. The chances of something like this happening is one in… the number of stars in the universe."

Gir's eyes twinkled. "That's a lot of stars. What happened?"

Dib chimed in. "The lightning hit the robot and the electricity went through it into you. The robot acted as a barrier against the harmful aspects of the electricity but the amount that came through went straight into your head and…"

"And what? What! C'mon Dib! I'm like, going crazy!" Gir cried.

Dib frowned. "You're not going to believe this, but the electricity went straight for the cancer, and well, sort of fried it, in a sense."

Zim shook his head. "It's simply impossible. There is just not a chance that the electricity didn't affect a single bit elsewhere in Gir's head besides the cancer."

Gir thought about what the angel had said. "You know, I think we should just trust the unknown and be thankful."

Dib hugged Gir tightly. "You have no idea, Gir."

The moment quickly ended as Gir turned to Zim. "Zim, I would really like to see Gaz right now. Would you go drive to Dib's house and find her for me? Pretty please, with sugar and Irken snacks on top?"

Zim paused at the awkward request but none the less rushed to the elevator to retrieve the demon teen. It was a mission only fit for a top Invader such as himself.

When Zim left, Dib turned to Gir with a raised brow. "You do know Zim will never manage to get her here, right? Why do you want to see Gaz so badly?"

Gir blushed and looked up at Dib with puppy eyes. "It was more of um… a way to occupy Zim for a while."

Dib felt his cheeks heat up a bit as Gir slid his fingers slowly down Dib's wet shirt. He curled them underneath and lifted the drippy cloth off, then flung it to the side and pulled Dib close to him, catching him in between his legs. Their faces grew close together and Gir took advantage and licked Dib's lips. Before Gir could kiss him, Dib pulled back and moved to Gir's ear.

"We haven't got to have much fun in a while, Gir. I want to make it up to you tonight. How do you feel about that?"

ZIPPP

Dib looked down and with much surprise, found his own pants at his ankles. He kicked off his shoes and pants and looked at Gir.

"Does this mean wer-" Dib was cut off with a soft finger on his lips. Gir bit his own lip and gave Dib a look that clearly showed that his mind was made up. It was time to take the next step.

He lifted his hands shakily and slid off Dib's boxers. Dib smiled as Gir's cheeks grew red and his eyes quickly moved back up to meet his. Dib slid Gir off the table and removed his pants, and more nervously than he expected, removed his puppy pattern boxers. Gir blushed again and turned away, but Dib didn't notice. He ran his eyes up and down Gir, stunned. Neither of them had seen each other completely nude before, and Dib knew now that Gir's clothes did him an injustice by hiding any beautiful inch of his porcelain flesh.

Dib picked up Gir and laid him back on the table, then climbed on top of him. His nervousness seemed to disappear with Gir's smile. He had always thought losing his virginity would be a horribly awkward situation, but at the same time, he hadn't known anyone he loved enough to be this comfortable with.

They finally stopped, and Dib lied down beside Gir, breathing heavily. They were both glistening in sweat, dog tired.

"Dib… You're… amazing."

Dib turned on his side to face Gir and kissed him on the cheek. He had never in his life felt so much fire and relaxation at the same time. Gir was simply exquisite in every way.

Gir grinned. "You know Dib, Zim has been gone getting Gaz for a very long time."

"What do you… No way! Do you really think so? He and Gaz?"

"I don't think so Dib, I know so. About a month ago, Gaz tried out for cheerleading because I told her I was dying and wanted her to try out more than anything. I really just wanted her to get social with the nice screeching girls. Anyways, she didn't make it, but she did happen to catch Zim's eye during the tryout."

"So?" Dib asked.

"So Zim has been complaining about her more often than usual, and he's had more bruises from her too. He started plotting to kill her which is a sure sign that he's bluffing. I know my master like I know piggies. I just know they're over there shagging!"

They burst out laughing but were suddenly cut off by the snapping noise of two of the surgery table's legs giving way. They fell off the table with a thud as it overturned, and started laughing hysterically once more.

THE END


End file.
